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Crazy Bear

Wycombe End Old Beaconsfield Buckinghamshire HP9 1LX 01494 673 086

We say

If a late-70s rock star went on a no-expense-spared bender with Marie Antoinette's interior designer, the result might be something like this gloriously OTT Beaconsfield hotel and suite of restaurants, an offshoot of the London Crazy Bear members' club. Housed in a 15th century building and assorted outhouses, the gilded empire sprawls along one of the town's affluent main streets; you'll find nothing so banal as a sign outside, just a discreet 'Hotel Reception' plaque. Inside it's dark: even on a summer's day you'll be peering past heavy drapes and blacked-out windows into the chandelier-lit bar and restaurant area. At the back there's a Moroccan-style pool and terrace area. The rooms are truly Baroque, too, with boudoir lighting, copper baths that fill from the ceiling and beds that are gold, leather or just plain massive. You'll either find it utterly seductive, hilarious – or both.

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